National Farting Day

 

We all know that wonderful childhood ditty, “Beans, beans the musical fruit the more you eat the more you toot!” Well here’s a news flash – the lyrics are wrong. First of all they aren’t a fruit, they’re a vegetable and secondly the more you eat the less you’ll toot.

 

Yes, more is better. I’ll explain.

 

All of our gastrointestinal tracts are unique to what we eat on a regular basis. Your flora, as it’s called in the gastro biz, produces an environment that helps digest what you just ate. So if you eat a lot of meat, you can digest that with no problem. If you haven’t had a bean since your Grade 6 field trip then Houston we have a problem.

 

We humans don’t have a lot of the enzyme needed to breakdown the sugars that beans produce, our personal flora helps digest what we just ate. Big bean eaters are relatively unscathed when they eat beans. Now give them a steak, maybe twice a year, and all I can say is, “Wow, scary!”

 

Basically your body gets used to what you eat and becomes more efficient at digesting it. It takes about two weeks of eating beans everyday to start to see the reduction of toots so hang in there, your heart will thank you, even though you neighbours won’t.

 

If you’re in your fifties or a Mel Brooks fan you’ve probably seen the movie Blazing Saddles and the famous tooting campfire scene that every guy I met, dated, or was married to, loved. My date that evening actually fell out of his seat into the aisle in the theater. Most men think farts are funny, women – not so much.

 

We all have flatulence episodes every day; each and every one of us has on average about fourteen episodes per day. You probably had one while you were reading this. I know most of my female friends claim to have never passed wind but let’s face it, they’re fibbing. Everyone has the toots at some time or other. It is one of the main reasons why I exercise. All that moving around helps gas exit my body, usually outside while I am walking my dog.

 

I am announcing that today, April 26 is National Farting Day. Come on – yesterday was National Zucchini Bread Day – why not give a shout out to your GI tract?

 

“Better out than in”, to quote Shriek! Have fun!

Posted in My Spin on Things
2 comments on “National Farting Day
  1. Virginia says:

    When I was young I learned a slightly different version of the farting ditty. It goes: ‘Beans, beans are good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart. The more you fart the better you feel, so eat some beans with every meal’.
    In our household we certainly believe what Shrek says! I think we’ll have chili for dinner……

  2. Mairlyn says:

    Your version is perfection. Putting it into my songbook.
    Thanks for the comment – hope you did have chili for dinner – we had pasta with beans.
    Peace, love and fibre,
    Mairlyn

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